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July 21, 2010 / Darrell

How To Buy A Mac At The Apple Retail Store.

The Apple Retail Store. A physical manifestation of the Apple Online Store, with a couple of drawbacks. Apple’s marketing team would have you believe that it is just as easy to buy Apple products from the Retail Store as the Online store. I’d have you believe otherwise.

After multiple purchases from the Apple Retail Store, I’ve decided to compile a guide for the easiest way to buy a Mac from the Apple Retail Store.

Step 1.

Go to your nearest Apple Retail Store, which in most cases at least a 20 minute drive. Note: this is about 40 times longer than it takes for your computer to start up.

Step 2.

Stand around in the store looking like you’re ready to buy something. Loiter around your product of choice while frequently looking up and making brief eye contact with the countless Apple sales people floating around the store.

Step 3.

Watch the sales people glance at you, then decide annoy/help someone else, whose business they haven’t secured yet.

Step 4.

Stand in the seemingly endless line for the one cash register that is open. There are countless other registers that are closed because there are countless other sales people trying to convince countless angsty teenagers to buy iPads.

Step 5.

Have the single sales person at the cash register tell you that they are currently out of stock.

Step 6.

Drive home and buy your Mac from the Apple Online Store.

Step 7.

Write a disgruntled blog entry about how crappy the service was at the Apple Retail Store, and use the Mac you bought to publish it.

Another little observation I made while wasting my life in the Apple Store. Types of people who play with iPads in the store.

  • 40 year old, self employed, overweight, Apple fanboys.
  • Angsty teenagers wearing beanies and flannelet shirts.
  • 8 year olds with rich parents.
  • 8 year olds with poor parents.
  • And bogans trying to update their facebook status to say that they’re on an iPad.
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